


Lose You to Love Me

by Poetinprogress1234



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetinprogress1234/pseuds/Poetinprogress1234
Summary: Josette Saltzman had made up her mind about love- It was risky and painful, and full of disappointment. She had committed herself to the idea that she would avoid it at all costs. Penelope Park, however, has made it her sole mission in life to change her mind.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson & Penelope Park, Josie Saltzman & Lizzie Saltzman, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	1. Welcome Wagon

There was a time when Josette Saltzman had thought that she had fallen in love.

Which was naïve of her, really. In a world that was constantly changing around her, she had been foolish enough to try to hold on to something that wasn't even hers to grasp. When Beckett had told her that he loved her for the first time, she had felt that surge of emotion that everyone talked about- the butterflies, the nervousness, the constant sense of appreciation, and adoration that made her feel weak and incredibly strong simultaneously. He was her first everything- her first kiss, her first boyfriend, her first glimpse into an emotion that was new and exciting and fun. She had committed herself to the idea that they would be together forever. That they would be that perfect young love that persevered and strengthened through time. She dreamt of weddings, and children, and a future; She anxiously awaited the day she turned eighteen so that they could run away together and truly start their greatest adventure. Like all good things in Josie's life, however, it had all come crashing down. Every daydream that she'd had about the future, every plan and commitment she had made, all torn apart in one single evening. It had broken her- left her a shell of the person she used to be. Without Beckett, she felt lost. She had no room left for herself with his overwhelming presence lingering in everything she did, everything she saw or touched or cried about. That's why when her father sat her and Lizzie down to talk about his relocation to an obscure place called Mystic Falls, she hadn't tried to fight him like Lizzie had. She had seen it as a fresh start- a place where she could find a new normal. So, they'd picked up their home in California and drove the nearly two-day journey to Mystic Falls, where everything was much dimmer and quieter and exactly what Josie needed.

That was a week ago, and Josie had yet to explore the new town she'd be calling home. She'd ventured outside for two things- food and to sign up for fall classes at Mystic Falls high. While her sister was buzzing around town like she had lived there her whole life, Josie stayed inside and helped her dad unpack their things from the moving crates. Most of her room was already set up the way she liked it, save her the box of her books that had somehow gotten misplaced in the shuffle of things. She had been looking for them all week, but she couldn't find it anywhere; She was almost certain that she had left it back at the old house, and it put her into an even worse mood. What the hell was she supposed to do during the two weeks before school started if she didn't have them? "You could always go out with your sister, you know.", Alaric told his daughter, slicing open the tape on one of the boxes. "Get to know the townspeople, see what Mystic Falls has to offer." "I'd rather die of boredom.", Josie mumbled, and Alaric frowned at her. Josie sighed, turning back toward the stairs. "I'm going back to my room; If you find my box, can you let me know?" Alaric nodded without turning his attention away from the box, and Josie started up the steps. Unfortunately for her, she couldn't get past the first one before the doorbell rang. "Can you please go get that, Josette? I have my hands full here." Josie sighed in frustration but did as her father asked. She threw open the front door, coming face to face with a girl who looked about her age, carrying a small basket.

"Can I help you with something?", Josie asked, eyeing the basket. "We're kind of busy." The girl raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, I'm sorry to bother you then." She held the basket out to Josie. "My mom does this thing where she bakes muffins to welcome new neighbors. She just asked me to take these over." She handed the basket to Josie. "She also wanted me to invite you to the labor day barbeque, but you're probably too 'busy' to come anyway." Josie looked from the basket to the girl. "Tell your mom we said thank you.", she mumbled, and the girl nodded, standing awkwardly on the front steps. "Yeah, sure. See you around, new girl." She walked away before Josie could say another word, so Josie closed the door shut, locking the deadbolt. 'We should really get a no solicitors sign', Josie thought to herself, putting the basket down on the table. It was a nice sized basket, filled with an assortment of different muffins. Attached to it was a little note, written in a delicate cursive handwriting:

Welcome to the neighborhood! It's always nice to see new faces on the block. Please, take these muffins as a peace offering. - Miranda and Penelope Park.

Penelope. That must have been the girl's name, Josie inferred. Josie had to admit that the girl was beautiful, and once upon a time she might have even felt the nervous awkwardness at being in her presence, But she was not that person anymore, and she refused to allow herself to fall into another trap with another person. Her whole move to Mystic Falls was about starting fresh, about changing her life around, and she wasn't about to slip into the same mistakes that had brought her to this point. She shoved the basket into the empty trash can, closing the lid firmly. They didn't need anything from Penelope Park or her sickeningly sweet mother. She ran back to the staircase, making her way up the steps. Her father stopped her on the way up. "Who was at the door, sweetheart?", he asked, and Josie just shrugged. "Some person taking a survey. I told them we weren't interested." He took her answer without question, turning his attention back to the pots and pans he was sorting through. Josie sighed in relief, finally able to retreat back to her room. As long as she kept her distance, she wouldn't get hurt. All she needed to do was get through the school year unscathed. She didn't know how exactly that would work out for her, but she knew one thing for sure.

She had to stay away from Penelope Park.


	2. Benefit of the Doubt

"Then she told me that she was "busy"- like I was the one annoying her!", Penelope raved, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "How stupid is that?" Hope looked up from her place on the edge of Penelope's bed, staring at her best friend with an amused smile. "I mean, you did kinda show up at her new house uninvited, Pen." She shrugged, and Penelope sighed in frustration. "That's not my fault though- that's my mom's." She tapped a pencil on the side of the desk as she thought of the next words to say. "I mean, what is that girl's problem? My mom said when she met her dad that he seemed like a nice guy, so why the hell is his daughter such a bitch?" "Oh, c'mon, Pen; She can't be that terrible.", Hope reasoned, willing to give Pen's new neighbor the benefit of the doubt. "She could have been having a bad day, or she really was busy; I mean, you just met her." "She's not very good at making first impressions, that's for sure." Hope chuckled, shaking her head at her friend. "Allow me to remind you that you also weren't very friendly when you first got here either.", she stated, remembering how cold and distant Penelope was the first few months she had been in Mystic Falls. "That is until you met me and fell for my natural charm." Penelope rolled her eyes, shoving her friend's shoulder playfully. "Shut up."

"I will not have dirty language like that in my house, Penelope.", Miranda Park exclaimed, poking her head into the room. "I've also reminded you a thousand times that your desk is not a chair, young lady. That's why god invented chairs." Penelope sighed, hopping down from the desk and joining Hope on the bed. Hope smiled at Penelope's mom, waving slightly. "Hey, Mrs. Park.", she greeted her, and the frown on Mrs. Park's face turned to a grin. "Oh, Hope- I'm sorry, dear, I didn't see you there. How is your mother doing? I've been meaning to send flowers to the hospital." Hope's smile faded slightly, but she shook the display of sadness away. "She's doing good, thanks." Mrs. Park chose not to pry, instead turning to her daughter. "Did you take that muffin basket over to the Saltzman's, sweetheart? Oh, did you invite them to the barbeque?" Penelope nodded, not willing to give up any more information than that. "Good. I was thinking maybe we should invite them over for dinner- once they're settled in, of course."

"No!", Penelope exclaimed, catching both Hope's and her mother's attention. "I mean, don't you think that's a little soon? I mean, you barely know them, mom. What If they're, like, serial killers or something?" Mrs. Park gasped. "Penelope Pricilla Park!", she scolded her, frowning at her daughter. "I expected you to be a little kinder to our new neighbors, especially considering the fact that Alaric has two daughters who will be attending Mystic Falls high in a few weeks." Penelope's eyes widened- she hadn't known that news yet. "I've met his daughter, mom- she's so rude. I doubt the other girl is any different." "All the more reason for you to be friendly with her, Penny.", Miranda argued. She shook her head, picking up the basket of laundry she'd left on the floor. "I raised you better than this, Penelope. I expect that from now on, you'll make a considerable effort toward being friendly and considerate toward our new neighbors." Penelope sighed, but she didn't argue with her mother. Mrs. Park took this as an agreement and turned to leave the room. Before she did so, she squeezed Hope's shoulder comfortingly. "If that house ever gets to be too lonely for you, honey, you know you are always welcome here. All you have to do is ask." Hope nodded to show her gratitude, and Mrs. Park left the room without another word.

Penelope flopped on the bed next to hope, covering her eyes with her hands. "Great- what am I supposed to do now?", she said with a groan. Hope flopped down next to her. "I don't know, Pen, I think your mom kinda has a point. Maybe there's something else going on with her." Penelope gave her a pointed look, and Hope shrugged. "Or maybe she's an absolute bitch, but you won't know if you don't at least attempt to get to know her." Penelope stayed silent, absorbing Hope's words. Hope looked down at the watch on her wrist, silently cursing to herself. "Hey, I gotta get going. Bex and Freya are supposed to take me to go see my mom soon." Penelope got up from the bed, sensing Hope's urgency. She walked Hope to the door, giving her a hug. "Tell your aunts I said hi." Hope nodded, leaving down the front steps and starting down the sidewalk towards her own house. Penelope watched her until she was almost out of sight, and then her attention focused on the house across the street. Something caught her eye, and when she squinted, she noticed the curtain of the upstairs window had been yanked closed when only seconds before it had been open. Penelope realized that someone had been watching her, too. She retreated back inside the house, even more confused. Hope and her mom were right- she knew nothing about the people living across the street.

But she was determined to find out.


	3. The First Day

So much for braving the first day together, Josie thought to herself angrily. The second that they had entered Mystic Falls high for their first official day of classes, Lizzie had abandoned Josie, walking with the friends she had somehow managed to make before the first day had even begun. She hadn't seen her sister since, and if she didn't know better she'd think that Lizzie was avoiding being seen with her. Lizzie's ignorance of Josie's existence left the junior to wander the halls in search of her classes alone with thousands of beady eyes watching her every move. She tried not to pay attention to the pointed looks and whispers, but it was hard not to notice them. She figured that because Mystic Falls was such a small, archaic town, they probably didn't get many new students every year. If she and Lizzie were the only two people to fill that already microscopically small quota? Well, then they were bound to be the center of attention. This was good for Lizzie, who was already seeming to fit into the hierarchy of Mystic Fall's student body. For Josie, however, the day had been filled with leering looks from the guys and impassioned displays of dominance from the girls who had perceived Josie as a potential threat to their status due to how the boys reacted to her. In short, she hadn't had a very good day, and unfortunately for her, it was only noon and it was about to get worse.

She redialed the combination to her locker for the third time, slamming her hand against the metal when it once again refused to open. It would be just her luck that the same combination that had worked perfectly fine that morning would fail to work when she was due for her class in less than five minutes. She rested her head against the cold locker door, deciding if her math book was really necessary enough to be worth bothering the main office about the malfunctioning lock. She was about to abandon it when someone else stepped up next to her, turning the lock skillfully. A second later the girl was pulling the lock off of the door, handing it back to Josie. Josie looked from the open locker to the smirking girl- her raven-haired neighbor that she had previously deduced to be Penelope Park- her frustration and relief hitting her in equal measures. "Hot tip, new girl- MFH is notorious for having shitty lockers. I'd invest in one with a key." Josie rolled her eyes, taking the math book out of the locker and slamming the door shut. She was about to turn and walk away when Penelope stopped her. "Hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot- I'm sorry about that. I don't think I've really introduced myself yet, but I'm Penelope." "I know", Josie blurted out, earning a confused look from Penelope. "The card on your mom's basket- it said from Miranda and Penelope." Realization hit Penelope and the confusion eased from her face. "Well, don't you think it's unfair that you know my name and I don't know yours?" Josie chuckled at that, shrugging. "Do you think it's fair that you keep appearing out of thin air? It's very annoying.", she rebutted, shifting her bag high up her shoulder. Josie sighed, running her hand through her hair. She had hoped it wouldn't come down to this conversation, but with Penelope's insistent behavior, she had no choice but to tell Penelope the truth.

"Look, I appreciate your help with my lock or whatever, but if you're looking for some kind of friendship you have the wrong twin. Maybe you should try my sister, Liz. She seems to be taking applications." Penelope leaned against the locker, her arms crossed. "Maybe she's not the twin I'm interested in.", she said nonchalantly, almost as if discussing the weather. "Well, I'm not interested.", Josie said more firmly, her posture rigid with tension. "Just, please leave me alone." The bell went off for the second time, signaling that Josie was already late to her first math class of the year. "Great; and now because of you I'm late." She reached into the side pocket of her bag to look for her schedule but saw that it was already in Penelope's hands. "Relax. If you slip in through the back door Ms. Cox won't even realize you were tardy." Josie snatched the schedule back from Penelope shoving it in the bag. When she looked back up, Penelope was gone, assumingly to her own class. Josie sighed with relief- at least now she could get to class in peace.

When she showed up to her fourth period, she decided to take Penelope's advice, going through the door at the back of the classroom instead of the one at the front. To her surprise, she once again laid eyes on the green-eyed girl at the front of the room, speaking to the teacher in a hushed voice. Ms. Cox looked up upon Josie's arrival, smiling warmly at her. Josie could tell immediately that she was one of those teachers that was more motherly than teacherly; She was someone that Josie could easily get along with. She waved Josie over, and the girl complied. "Hello, Josette. It's very nice to meet you." Penelope's eyebrows arched at the mention of the girl's name. Josie could feel her face turn red with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry about being late. It won't happen again.", she apologized, but Ms. Cox waved her apology away. "Penelope already explained to me what happened, dear. You're excused." Josie sighed with relief, mumbling a quiet thank you to both Ms. Cox and Penelope. She returned to the desk she had claimed for herself, and after a few more exchanged words Penelope turned to leave as well. Before she did, she passed Josie's desk, leaning over to whisper something only Josie could hear.

"See you later....Josette."


	4. Impressions

"Did you see the new girl today?", Hope said, setting her things beside Penelope's. They were seniors, which meant that their third period was a study period, and they were taking full advantage of it- well, at least Penelope was. Her best friend had been gifted with a photographic memory. In turn, she didn't have to study as hard as Penelope had to. In fact, while Penelope was tackling the review packet from her history teacher, Hope had taken out a little bottle of dark purple nail polish and was touching up the edges of her fingernails. "Not the blonde one, but the brunette." Penelope swallowed hard. Had she noticed her? Well, besides the fact that the girl was all she could think about for the last three hours since she had run into her, no. She hadn't noticed her at all. "No, I haven't seen her yet.", she lied, flipping the page of her book. "The blonde one is in my bio class. I think her name is Elizabeth or something. Raf's already all over her, but I'd be dim if I hadn't expected that." "Ew. God, can guys get anymore disgusting?", Hope said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, here's what I know so far: the blonde is named Elizabeth- but you already knew that- and the brunette one- the rude one- is named Josette. They're sisters; Well, actually, they're twins. They must be juniors because the only senior that has bio is you and freshies and Sophomores aren't allowed to take that class. Oh, also, they're from California- San Francisco to be exact." "Jesus, Hope, you learned all of that in three hours?" Hope grinned. "I have my sources, Pen my dear. I also know that they're gemini's. So, good luck with that." "Why would I care about their astrological sign?", Penelope asked, taking a sip of her water. "Because everyone knows you have a weakness for brown eyes and a fiery spirit, Penelope." Penelope nearly choked, but managed not to.   
� "You think I have a crush on her or something? Dude, I barely know her. Besides, she doesn't seem to be the warmest person in the world", Penelope reminded her, dispelling the accusation. "I think you've been reading too many of your sister's fairytale stories. Which, by the way, are totally sexist and support the idea that women can only be "saved" by a man." Hope sighed. "Yeah, because that's the message a five year old is going to get from a colorful book about magic and unicorns." Hope shook her head at her friend. "Stop trying to change the subject with your feminism, Pen. I know you think she's at least cute, no?" Penelope gave hope a look of annoyance. "No, I don't. Now can we please focus on our work? I cannot fail this class- my mom will kill me." Hope laughed. "If you think that 'no' sounded convincing, just know that it didn't. But, sure, get some studying done, Miss Brainiac. But this conversation isn't over." Penelope flipped the page of the book, biting her lip nervously.��"Yeah, I didn't expect it to be."   
_________________________________________________________________________  
Penelope sat down at the desk in her last period class, practically collapsing into the seat. She was beyond tired, and it was only the first day. She'd had homework for almost every class, and she hoped that this was the teacher's way of making up for the summer break instead of a normal occurrence. Then again, that was the price she'd have to pay if she wanted to make up her credits by the end of the year. If she didn't, she'd be held back, and she was not about to spend another year trapped at Mystic Falls when she could be starting the rest of her life already. She made a mental note to look into the student tutor program, and to remember to call Kaleb and see what he had in stock. If she had any hope of getting through the first week of school without losing her mind, she definitely wasn't going to be doing so soberly. Students began filing in around her, and the teacher began the standard "first day" routine- introducing herself, explaining the syllabus, handing out their first assignment- when the door swung open and the attention of the room was turned towards it. 

It was the same girl Penelope had been hoping to see again- the girl she knew now to be Josette. She was 20 minutes late and looking wildly unamused about it. She gave the teacher the same attention she would a buzzing insect, bypassing the rows of students to take the very last seat in the room- the one right next to Penelope's. "Ms. Saltzman, I expect my students to come to my classroom with two things- prompt arrival and a eagerness to learn about literature.", Mrs. Smith warned her, hand placed firmly on her hip. The students around them giggled, causing Penelope to become embarrassed on the behalf of her new seatmate. "I expect you to come fulfilling both of those requirements if you wish to pass my class." Josie forced a polite smile, but Penelope could see her fist curled up under the desk. "I'm so sorry- it won't happen again.", she apologized, satisfying the teacher. As soon as she turned around, however, Josette rolled her eyes and began doodling little flowers on the back of her hand with an ink pen. Penelope attempted to focus on her tasks, but she couldn't help watching Josette out of the corner of her eye. As much as she believed that Josette would benefit from an attitude adjustment, she had to admit that the brunette intrigued her. There was something special about the girl, though she couldn't put her finger on what. Maybe it was the fact that she was a new student, and she was curious. Maybe it was the way that the girl seemed to give no fucks about anything. Or, just maybe, it was the fact that Penelope could see so much of herself in Josie, and that made her a tiny bit worried. 

When class came to an end, Josette was the first person to leave. She was out the door before the bell had even finished ringing, not allowing Penelope to say even one word. Penelope packed up her own things, but as she was closing her notebook a piece of paper fluttered out from between the pages. Penelope looked at the note in confusion; She hadn't remembered writing, or placing, a folded paper in her notebook. She unfolded it, reading the messily scrawled writing inside. 

The next time you'd like to stare at me during class, maybe try being a little more discreet about it. - Josie.


	5. Feelings

"So, how was your first day at school, girls?", Alaric asked, sitting down at the kitchen table. It was the first night in weeks that they'd sat down together for a meal, and as much as she wanted to simply retreat to her room and do her homework, Josie stayed at the table to appease him. She pushed her food around the plate absent-mindedly, half tuned in to Lizzie's conversation with their father. Lizzie rambled on about the new people she'd met, her easy going new teachers, and her invitation to join the cheerleading team while her father listened to her attentively. As she spoke, her eyes sparkling with excitement, Josie felt her grip on the fork in her hand tightening. She wasn't as outgoing as her sister, than wasn't a secret. She'd never been as extroverted as Lizzie- it just wasn't her. Still, when she heard about all the positive things happening in her sister's life, she couldn't help feeling jealousy bubble inside of her. It was always so easy for Lizzie. She never had to deal with the things Josie was forced to. She didn't voice these complaints, keeping her mouth shut and her head down. She didn't even realize her father's attention had fallen on her until her sister nudged her firmly in the ribs to get her to listen. "What about you, Josette? Anything interesting happen today?", he asked, taking a sip of water from his cup. Josie shrugged, leaning her head against her hand. Alaric sighed. "Can I at least know how your day went?" Josie sighed, pushing the plate away and standing from the table. "My day was fantastic- best day of my life. Can I please just go to my room now?" Alaric reluctantly nodded his head, and Josie took the plate to put in the kitchen sink before she retreated upstairs. 

Only once she was inside and the door was closed behind her did Josie feel like she could breathe again. She didn't know what it was about being around her family, but lately she felt that every minute spent with them made it harder and harder to breathe. In a way, it made her feel guilty. Before her mother left, they had been such a close knit family. Sure, her and Lizzie got into fights, but what siblings didn't? Sure, her mother and father had their moments, but what family didn't have their ups and downs? The cracks in their family's foundation, however, had crumbled just before they had made the move to Mystic Falls; Josie still wasn't 100% sure why. She had thought her parents were happy together, but only once they were apart did Josie realize how happy her parent's could be. Still, the divorce came as a big shock to her and Lizzie, and it didn't help that only a few weeks later Josie's life fell apart for a second time after she discovered what her best friend and boyfriend had done behind her back. The very thought of that night made her heart ache, and that feeling refused to go away. It was only replaced with overwhelming anger when she checked her phone and saw who she had incoming messages from. They were all from her ex and her ex-best friend, begging Josie to hear them out. She deleted every single message.

It wasn't that Josie didn't believe them. She knew that Beck and Tori felt guilty about what they had done, and part of her had the urge to forgive them. She shot down that idea as quickly as it had come to her. That was "old Josie" thinking, and she couldn't let herself regress back into that ideology. That was the thinking that got her into this whole mess in the first place- the naviety, the blind optimism, the idea that she could be worthy of a pure love and affection. No, she had to get those fantasies out of her head, before they had a chance to hurt her again. Beck and Tori deserved each other, and Josie hoped that their regret swallowed them for what they had done to her. It was only fair that they felt a fraction of the pain they'd caused Josie. Pain- Josie was tired of feeling it. As much as she tried not to feel it, the emotion crept up on her at the most inopportune of times. Josie didn't realize she was crying until the tears hit the hand resting on her lap. She reached up and roughly wiped them away. She hated herself for being so weak. She hated feeling, she hated trying to control those feelings, and she hated the people that made her feel such overpowering emotions. Josie sighed, burying her face in her pillow. In the midst of her breakdown, a thought came to Josie. 

Maybe, she thought to herself, the answer was to feel nothing at all.


	6. Progress

Penelope watched as Josie entered the crowded cafeteria, scanning the room to evaluate the chaos around her. The girl looked uncertain as she entered, almost as if she was seconds away from running away. With all of the rambunctious laughter and screaming around her, Penelope couldn't blame her. Josie scanned the room with her eyes, looking for something among the crowd. When Josie's nervous expression changed to a disappointed frown, Penelope followed her gaze; She understood the girl's change in mood. The other Saltzman twin was a stark opposite of Josie. Elizabeth was surrounded by the Mystic Falls cheerleading team and deep in conversation; She was so preoccupied that she didn't even acknowledge Josie's existence when she gave her a small wave. It didn't take a genious to realize that Elizabeth's ignorance had hurt Josie, but no one seemed to notice this fact except Penelope. Josie sighed heavily, turning on her heels and walking straight back out the doors she had just coming in from. Penelope had the urge to follow her, but she knew that doing so was a risk. Not only would she look like a complete stalker in Josie's eyes, but she would be crossing the boundaries that Josie had so strictly defined for herself. She had made it clear that she didn't want Penelope's attention,so why should she care? Josie wasn’t the first social outcast at Mystic Falls High and she wouldn't be the last. Penelope knew she should just stop caring, before she got herself too attatched. 

That should have been easy enough for Penelope. She was never one to get herself involved in the drama of others; Even she and Hope had an unspoken rule about oversharing information with each other. Josie…well, Josie obviously had issues. Josie was impulsive, explosive, rude- Penelope could keep going on about the poor qualities she had observed in Josie just in the last week of knowing her. Penelope shouldn't have cared, but as much as she tried not to. She did. She cared for the girl against her better judgement, against her own inhibitions. Josie was an enigma, a puzzle that Penelope was desperate to put together. Curiosity was what finally broke her resolve. The desire of it is what coerced her out of the cafeteria, ignoring Hope's questions of where she was going, and led her down the halls in search of the brown- eyed girl. 

It didn't take Penelope very long to find Josie. While Mystic Falls was a larger school, it was also a very cluttered one. There were very few places that one could hide, and Penelope knew all of them. When she didn't find Josie in the most obvious hiding spots- the library, the gym, the abandoned bathrooms on the second floor- she checked her last option: the auditorium. When she creaked open the door, there Josie was. She had her headphones on, knees curled up to her chest, and she was absolutely silent. Penelope approached her quietly, and Josie didn't even notice her until Penelope tapped her shoulder to make her presence known. Josie's demeanor switched in an instant, masking her somber disposition and teary eyes with a scowl. "What the hell are you doing here?", she asked coldly, unravelling herself from the tight cocoon she had formed her body into. "I don't know what would possess you to follow me, but I already told you that I'm not interested in making friends." "First of all, who said I was here because of you?", Penelope stated, sitting down two seats over from Josie. "Secondly, you can't really stop me from being here, seeing as we're both not allowed in here already. So, unless you want to leave and get caught by security, you're kinda stuck with me." Josie gave her a pointed look, and for a second Penelope thought she was going to get up and risk being caught just to escape her. Instead, Josie returned to her original position, either too tired or too upset to fight Penelope any further. The two of them sat in silence, until Penelope decided to push herself and Josie out of their comfort zones. 

"So, what are you listening to?", Penelope asked, and Josie shrugged, as if it was an acceptable answer. "You know, talking to me would be a lot easier than trying to annoy me." "Is that so?", Josie retorted. "Well, you should know by now that I don't take the easy way." "Oh, trust me- I''ve already come to that conclusion. Just humor me for a minute, Jojo. It'll make this awkward silence thing you're doing a lot less awkward" Josie looked at her in confusion at the nickname. Josie was quiet for a few moments before she spoke again. "It's Ed Sheeran.", she spoke quietly, breaking through the tension surrounding them. "It's called 'happier.'" "I know that song.", Penelope stated, and Josie gave her a look of genuine shock. "I didn't take you for the type to listen to that kind of music.", she admitted, and Penelope grinned. "I listen to pretty much anything- my mom and dad raised me listening to everything." Penelope was surprised to find that Josie was listening to her speak, instead of trying to ignore her again. "See, my mom? She loves music. She was a singer before I was born- nothing big, just small venues and stuff. I don't know, she kinda exposed me to everything." "My family thinks my music is too depressing.", Josie admitted, sighing. "I guess they're kinda right, but I feel like it gets me, more than they ever could at least." "No, I totally get it. Everyone deserves a place that they feel understood. Yours is just in music. There's nothing wrong with that.", Penelope said, shrugging. Josie nodded faintly, thinking over Penelope's words. Penelope was about to speak again, but the bell rang to signal the end of the period, which meant they could safely leave the auditorium and blend in with the rest of the students walking to their next class. 

The bell seemed to snap Josie out of the conversation, and she quickly grabbed her things, rushing out before Penelope had a chance to stop her. Penelope groaned, leaning against the seat in front of her in frustration. Just when she felt like she was connecting with Josie, she shut her back out without warning. In the short time she'd had with Josie alone, Penelope could see- as she had already known- that Josie's tough exterior was a clever façade. Penelope also knew that façades could be broken; Josie's could be broken. Even if it had to be chipped away piece by piece, one meaningless conversation at a time. Penelope was prepared for that, and she was determined to do so. Because she knew, deep down, Josie was just lost. And as Miranda Park would say, the lost could always be found. Penelope disagreed with her mother about a lot of things, but this was not one of them. Josie just needed someone to help her find herself again; Penelope was still unsure why, but she was determined to be that someone for her. 

Only time and patience would let her know if she would succeed.


	7. Sympathy

The smart thing to do, Josie figured, would be to ignore the places she knew that Penelope would be.

It would be an easier option. If she avoided Penelope, then she didn't put herself in the position of dealing with the emotions the shorter girl brought out of her. She wouldn't have to deal with the terrifying idea of being seen, of being paid attention to. She could continue being invisible, a fly on the wall. It made perfect sense, at least in Josie's mind- if she didn't let anyone close enough to hurt her, she could escape junior year unscathed. Josie found out very quickly that Penelope was not just anyone, and ignoring her would be easier said than done. It wasn't that Penelope went out of her way to find Josie, but there was a magnetic pull about the girl that attracted Josie back to her even when every one of her senses screamed for her to stay away. She had tried to fight it- she had tried to distract herself and her thoughts away from the raven-haired girl, but she found it to be an impossible task. Maybe it was because Penelope was the one person in the whole of Mystic Falls High that seemed to care about Josie's wellbeing. Maybe it was the fact that Penelope was funny, and welcoming, and all-around wonderful to her. Or maybe- just maybe- it was because only around Penelope did she feel like she could breathe again.

It wasn't every day that Josie saw Penelope because that would be too routine, and Josie wasn't willing to become accustomed to her secret meetings with Penelope. Some days Josie stayed far away from the auditorium, instead of staying in an empty classroom or the library or anywhere else she knew that Penelope wouldn't be. She found these days to be more boring, but they were necessary. These days were to put distance between the two girls, to remind both herself and Penelope that they were not friends, or acquaintances, or anything that resembled normalcy. They were just two people who were lonely, Josie told herself. Josie was familiar with her loneliness, but she found it to be more tolerable when Penelope was around. Josie figured that this was the reason she kept returning to where she knew Penelope would be- she needed the company because it made the terrifying thoughts in her head be silent for a little while. When she did visit the auditorium, Penelope was always there, almost as if waiting to see if she'd appear or not that day. Josie would approach her, sitting a few seats down from her. They'd sit in silence for a while, Penelope always giving Josie the room she needed to adjust to her presence. When she'd done just that, she gave Penelope the signal that it was okay for her to speak. Most days, it would be Penelope speaking. She ranted about fights with her mom, stressed about her homework, and entertained Josie with stories from her childhood. Rarely- very rarely- Josie would speak, talking about her day or the weather or something equally as trivial. She never talked about anything of importance, because that would make her feel too exposed. Penelope didn't seem to mind- she simply listened. For Josie, it was refreshing to feel heard.

On a particular day, however, Josie could feel a heaviness around Penelope as she approached her. For one, the girl didn't look up at her as Josie walked in, her focus on the wood floor beneath their feet. She was still, arms wrapped around her stomach as she bent over almost in pain. Josie could practically feel the sorrow radiating from Penelope, and part of her wanted to just turn around and walk away. The selfish part of her wanted to leave Penelope to her problems- to not get herself involved. Josie's feet were begging her to walk away, but Josie stayed. She sat down in the seat next to Penelope, and only then did the girl lookup. Her eyes were swollen and red, tears making shaky trails down Penelope's cheeks. When she noticed Josie had joined her, she immediately straightened up, drying her eyes. "Uh, hey.", she forced out, clearing her throat. "I didn't know if you'd come today." She laughed, but it was void of humor; a broken laugh. "I was kind of hoping you wouldn't." "Why are you crying?", Josie asked, trying to force some warmth in her tone of voice. Penelope sighed. "It's...nothing, really. I just...I miss my dad." Josie tilted her head slightly, urging Penelope to continue. The girl looked down at her hands, playing with the ring on her middle finger. "My dad was deployed four months ago for Iraq. The month before school started, actually. He's going to be gone for...well, he's going to be gone for a long time." Josie frowned, unable to fight the sympathy she felt towards Penelope; She knew what it was like to be without both of her parents. "You're scared for him?", Josie asked, already knowing the answer. Penelope nodded anyway. "He's never gone to, like, war. It's always just been base training. This is the first time he's had to leave us for more than just a few weeks. My mom...I can hear her crying at night. I know because I'm crying with her." Penelope let out a shaky breath. "I just wish he was home because he always knew how to make me feel better. Even if it was just a hug or a stupid dad joke- he was there, you know? Now he's not, and I don't know if he'll come back the same. If he's come back home at all."

Josie's heart broke for Penelope. She realized that she felt just as lost as she did- suspended in uncertainty, her life flipped upside down and unsure of what would happen next. To know Penelope felt the same feelings that tortured Josie daily affected Josie, as much as she wished it didn't. Penelope wasn't just lonely like Josie- she was heartbroken like her, too. Josie bit her lip, internally fighting between letting Penelope sit alone in her sorrow or to reach out and help her. If she let herself care about the girl, then it would be impossible to continue acting like she was indifferent to Penelope. If she didn't, then she would be abandoning Penelope to the same fate Josie dreaded. The pros and the cons ran through Josie's head, and she was so caught up in the consequences of her actions that she barely realized that she had already grasped Penelope's hand.

While this action had almost bypassed Josie, it didn't for the other girl. Penelope's attention went from Josie's face to their joined hands; She looked just as shell-shocked as Josie felt. They didn't say anything, but their hands stayed joined together. Josie wanted to do more- knew that she should do more to comfort Penelope- but she couldn't bring herself to move. To do anything else, to come any closer, was a terrifying thought. So, they sat together, hand in hand, until the bell rang to signal that their lunch period was over. Josie found herself disappointed when they finally had to let go. Penelope checked her eyes in the little compact mirror from her purse, making sure that the evidence of her misery was long gone. She sighed in relief, putting the compact back in her purse. Turning to Josie, she offered a small smile. "Have a nice rest of your day, Josie.", she said, picking up her things and walking away. Josie watched her go, swallowing hard.

She hated how agonizing it was watching Penelope walk away.

__________________________________

Josie rang the doorbell for the second time, shifting the Tupperware container in her arms. She knew that Penelope and her mom were home because her mother's car was in the driveway. For some reason, it was taking them way too long to answer the door, and Josie debated whether or not to just leave the dish on the doorstep and walk away. Before her impatience reached that point, however, the door opened and Penelope peeked her head out of the front door. "Josie?", she said quizically, unable to believe that what she was seeing was real. "Is everything okay?" Josie laughed awkwardly, nodding her head. "Yeah, I'm fine. Uh..my mom...she believes that when families are in times of sorrow that food can comfort them. These cookies are her recipe. I know it's strange, but I just thought-" Josie cut herself off, handing Penelope the Tupperware container. Penelope took it gratefully. For the first time that week, Josie saw Penelope's smile return to her face. To be the one who caused it made Josie grin with pride. "Thanks- I really appreciate it.", Penelope said, expressing her gratitude. She hesitated for a moment before opening the door a little wider. "Do you want to come in?", she asked, hesitantly. Josie paused, swallowing hard. Josie knew that Penelope probably only invited her in to be nice, but she found herself wanting to go in anyway; Even if it was just to make sure Penelope truly was okay, and then to leave right after. Having that plan made Josie's decision final.

She nodded, setting foot into Penelope's house for the first time.


	8. Destiny

Penelope took pride in her family, and the home her parents had created. That's why anyone she had ever brought into their home were people she knew would stick around long enough to respect her family the way they deserved. Hell, it had been a year before she had allowed Hope over, and that girl had never even given her a reason to distrust her. Hope had earned her place in their home, and now she was pretty much a member of their family, which was fortunate for Hope since the girl had been slowly losing hers since her father left. As for Josie, however? Well, Josie was a wild card. Having the brunette girl inside of her house was a weird experience, and Penelope almost wished that Josie had refused like she expected her to. Why she had ever offered she was unsure; All she knew is that when Josette showed up on her doorstep, she didn't want the girl to go. Now, they were in this awkward situation, Josie studying Penelope's room, an unreadable expression on her face. Penelope bit her lip nervously between her teeth, leaning against the desk, giving Josie a minute to take in her surroundings. Penelope didn't know why but Josie's judgment was important to her, and she was afraid of the reaction that the girl would have to her living space. She silently cursed herself for the mess of Pens, pencils, and paper on her desks. She groaned inwardly at the unmade bed, the clothes on the floor. If her mother was home, she'd be mortified that Penelope had even let Josie into her room with such a mess. If it was Hope, or MG, or anyone else, she really wouldn't care. This, however, was Josie- and to Penelope, for some unknown reason, Josie's opinion mattered.

"You were a cute kid.", Josie commented, and Penelope refocused her attention on her guest. "Oh, thank you. I mean, I don't think so, but-" "How can you not think so?", Josie interrupted without meaning to. "You were honestly super adorable." "I bet you were too.", Penelope tried to reciprocate, but Josie scoffed at the idea. She set the picture frame down again, turning away from the bookshelf she was facing. "No, Lizzie was the cute one; Everyone thought so. I swear to god, she's been obsessed with being the center of attention since our birth." "That must be pretty hard on you.", Penelope commented, and Josie gave her a "deer in headlights" expression. "I mean, I can't imagine that it's easy growing up with someone always fighting for attention with you." Josie swallowed hard, shrugging slightly. "I'm used to it, really. My parents love us differently, but not any less or more than each other. Lizzie's always just needed them more than I did." She joined Penelope on the bed, keeping a healthy distance between them. "It wasn't all bad. When we were little it was almost like we were the same person. She was my best friend, and no matter what happened, at the very least I could count on her." Sensing that the subject was started to bother Josie, Penelope changed it. "I always wished I'd had siblings- at least one, you know.", Penelope admitted. "My parents always told me they were happy with just me, though, so they never tried for another kid." "Me and my sister were my parents' miracle children.", Josie explained, bringing her knees up to her chest. "My mom and dad tried for years for kids, spent thousands of dollars on treatments and shots and all that shit. As soon as they stopped trying, my mom got pregnant with us." Josie chuckled to herself, smiling slightly. "Isn't it funny how the world fucks with us sometimes?" Penelope laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "I don't know, I think everything happens for a reason. Obviously they were meant to be parents if you and Lizzie came anyway."

Josie sighed, moving to lie down next to Penelope. "I don't know, do you really believe in all that destiny bullshit?" Penelope shrugged. "I don't know about destiny, per se. I do believe that everything has a purpose, though. A lesson, a story to tell. I mean, that's what I tell myself when I think about my dad.", she said, the last part coming out more shaky than she had intended. She took a deep breath, letting it go slowly. "If I didn't have faith in that, I don't think I'd be able to survive without him here." Josie reached out blindly next to her, and Penelope gladly took Josie's hand into her own. She couldn't help noting how easily their fingers wove together, how perfect their hands fit against one another. "Do you write to him?", Josie asked curiously, her gaze focused on the paint on Penelope's ceiling. "I can, but I don't know. I feel like if I write to him then I have to stop being mad at him for choosing the army over us. Like if I talk to him then that means I'm okay with it." "You don't ever have to be okay with it, Penelope.", Josie assured her, and Penelope's heart skipped a beat at the airy way Josie said her name. "You can be pissed at him and love him too, you know. Even if it's just a few sentences, even if it's just to make you feel better. I don't know, it might make him feel not as far away." Penelope thought over Josie's words, but before she had a chance to even say something back, the door opened and Josie abruptly pulled away. 

When Hope entered the room, she looked from Penelope, then to Josie, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Am I walking in on something?", she asked curiously, and both the girl's opposed her implication feverently. Josie stood from the bed, putting her shoes back on. "Uh...I should go anyway. My dad has this thing about me and Lizzie being home for dinner. Bye, Pen." With a quick wave to Hope, Josie was out of the house before Penelope could even ask her to stay. Hope smirked at her friend, who groaned outwardly. "She's a cute one. Where'd you find her?", Hope asked, and Penelope gave her a pointed look. Hope caught on quickly. "Oooh, is that the mysterious Gemini twin? Josie, is it? Damn, you already got her in your bedroom, Pen? That's progress, I guess." Penelope threw the pillow at her best friend, and Hope laughed, confused, and slightly amused at her sudden aggression. 

"What? Was it something I said?"


	9. Fear

Josie had a lot of fears.

When she was little, she had been afraid of the dark; An overwhelming, terrifying phobia that left her shaking in bed every night after her parents turned off her bedroom light. It had gotten so bad that Lizzie had asked if she could move into the room across the hall because the glow from Josie's nightlights had been too bright for her to handle. When she got older she began fearing bigger things- class presentations, pop quizzes, clowns, and the monsters from the horror movies that Tori forced her to watch. It had taken time, but she'd eventually grown out of that mentality. Now, she still had her fears, but they were a lot less trivial. Josie feared not being good enough, no matter how much she tried to be. She feared being alone, even though she feared being loved more. As much as they annoyed her, she feared losing her parents and her sister. Josie knew how to fight those fears, how to quiet those voices in her head; Still, the one thing she feared most was the person staring back at her every time she looked in the mirror.

She had become a stranger to herself, her thoughts turned against her and ready to attack. She hated how betrayed she felt by her mind, how the voices in her head had begun to control her instead of the other way around. She'd lost control, and if there was one thing Josie hated it was losing her control. She tried to fight them, tried to prove to herself and everyone else that she had the power, the upper hand. She'd done a pretty good job of that, too. She'd been able to love and let herself be loved, had been able to keep the thoughts that terrified her under her authority. That was until Beck's mistakes had pulled the rug out from under her, blind sighting her and tearing her already fragile sanity apart. Now, Josie had developed a new fear- her own emotions. She wanted nothing to do with them, and that's why she had promised herself that she'd never put herself in the position to be disarmed like that again. She'd put up defenses, put space between herself and anything that threatened to take her power away. She thought she was doing a good job of protecting herself, but then one person had come along and she felt powerless once again.

When she wasn't constantly fighting against it, being around Penelope was comfortable- fun, even. Penelope made for good company, with her opinions and her stories and her humor. When she was with Penelope, Josie felt a peace that she'd been depriving herself of. It scared her how effortless it felt to communicate with Penelope just as much as it elated her to feel heard for once. Part of her wanted to trust Penelope, but she couldn't bring herself to cross that barrier she had put between herself and the older girl. She was afraid of putting herself in a position she promised to never leave herself open to being in again. It was easier to continue acting like she didn't have feelings- lonelier, but easier. Before meeting Penelope, that had begun to feel like second nature. After she had seen a glimpse of the person Penelope Park was, it was a challenge to keep up her façade. Her and Penelope were alike, in some ways- Penelope had fears, too. She felt pain and joy and all of the things that Josie had to work against and it made Josie jealous at how easy it was for the older girl to express her emotions. She envied how open Penelope was with how she was feeling. She hated that with one look at Penelope she could tell exactly what the older girl was feeling, the thoughts that were going through her head. Where Josie was secretive and isolated, Penelope was so open and so honest. Josie was a liar- she was selfish and rude, and she wasn't against hurting someone else if it meant that she was protecting herself. That's just the person who Josie had become, and she was not looking to change that. She also was 100 percent was not going to let herself care about Penelope Park. She couldn't let herself get hurt again, especially by the person she wanted so badly to trust.

(Part of her wondered who she was trying to protect- herself or Penelope.)

_________________________________

"Can anyone tell me what is the main idea of Of Mice and Men?", Mr. Jackson asked, staring out at his students impatiently. Josie kept her head down and her focus on her book, not daring to make eye contact with her English teacher. She knew the answer to his question, of course; She'd read the book before, even owned a copy of it before her box of books had been misplaced. While she knew that she knew what Mr. Jackson wanted her to say, she didn't want to broadcast her knowledge to the whole class. As far as her classmates knew, she was the quiet and clueless student in the back of the room; She wanted it to stay that way. Unfortunately for her, Mr. Jackson had other plans. "I don't think we've heard from you yet, Miss Saltzman.", he stated, drawing Josie's attention out of her book. "Can you tell me what you think the main idea of Of Mice and Men is?" Josie's whole body froze, watching in horror as twenty-two other pairs of eyes landed on her. They were all waiting for her to speak, but all Josie could do was focus on not passing out from pure fear. Everywhere she looked, the attention of the room was focused solely on her, and Josie was feeling the pressure of speaking. Just when she thought she was about to break from the embarrassment and anxiety of the situation, the sound of a chair scraping across the hardwood floor was heard as someone stood up from their desk.

"Of Mice and Men shows examples of untreated mental illness.", Josie heard Penelope say confidently. "It is about the tragedy of human existence because all of the characters at one point or another feel the effects of isolation and loneliness." Mr. Jackson frowned at Penelope, but he accepted her answer without too much complaint. "That is very good, Miss Park, but you were not the person I was addressing." "I knew the answer, so it probably should have been me you addressed. Obviously Josie doesn't want to speak up- she didn't have her hand up, or asked to be called on- and instead of respecting that you tried to force her to speak because you wanted her to." The whole room fell silent, and Josie could tell that Mr. Jackson was failing to keep his composure at Penelope's words. "This is my classroom, Miss Park. I expect a level of respect from my students. If I ask them to speak, I expect them to speak. I also won't tolerate your disrespect, either." Penelope stood unfazed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Maybe first you should give Josie some respect before demanding it from her." Josie couldn't believe how blatant Penelope was being with Mr. Jackson, and she also couldn't believe that her arguments were in Josie's defense. It was easy to see that Mr. Jackson had had enough. "Leave my classroom at once, Penelope; And take Miss Saltzman with you. If you can't follow the simple rules of my classroom, then I will not waste my time trying to teach you."

Once they were out of the room and into the hallway, Josie took off down the corridor. Her lungs burned with the effort, but she didn't stop running. She wasn't even phased when she passed Lizzie and her friends, oblivious to her sister's concerned questioning as to where she was going. She didn't slow down until she had made it safely into the auditorium, dropping into one of the seats and placing her head between her knees. She could feel her blood pumping in her ears, her heart pounding so hard In her chest that it had begun to physically hurt. She was so engrossed in her own panic that she didn't realize someone else had joined her in the auditorium. She felt two gentle hands rest on her knees, and when she looked up she met green eyes, shining with concern.

She hadn't expected Penelope to run after her, but now that she was right in front of her, she was grateful that she was no longer alone. "It's okay, Josie. You're safe- there's no one else here but me, and I'm not going anywhere. Listen to my voice okay? I've got you." Josie was tempted to pull away from Penelope because she knew how weak she looked. She needed to show Penelope that she could deal with her anxieties alone, to show her that she didn't need Penelope or anyone else's help. While she knew and believed all of these things, however, hearing Penelope's voice was soothing, the slight pressure of her hold on Josie keeping her grounded enough that she no longer felt like she was slipping away from reality. "There you go, Josie. Keep breathing just like that- you're doing so well, Jojo." Penelope kept mumbling words of comfort to Josie, and after a few pain-staking moments, Josie felt like she was herself again. When she dared to look up, Penelope was smiling softly at her, her hands still resting on Josie's knees. "Hi.", she said, and Josie swallowed hard, biting back a response because she didn't trust her own words. She simply stared at Penelope, debating whether to run away or to stay. Penelope waited for her to process her thoughts, not moving from her crouched position in front of Josie, letting her physically see that Penelope had every intention to stay, even though she had witnessed Josie's breakdown. That was what finally made up Josie's mind for her- the idea that even though she knew Josie was broken, Penelope was willing to stay. She unexpectedly leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Penelope in a tight embrace. To be so close to someone after so long of avoiding it was awkward and overwhelming to Josie, but all of that apprehension melted away the second Penelope returned the embrace. Josie still had a lot of fears.

But it was comforting knowing she wouldn't have to face them alone anymore.


	10. Gratitude

It should have been a good day.

That's all Penelope could think of when she woke up on Thanksgiving morning. Everyone else around the world was going to spend the day with their families, and Penelope longed to be able to do the same. She had known for months now that there would be a very slim chance that her father would be able to come home to celebrate the holidays, but she had still held on to that hope. When her father had written to her last week and confirmed what she already knew, that hope had been taken away from her. Her mother was trying the best to make the holiday enjoyable- she'd even reached out to Penelope's aunts and uncles to see if they'd want to come over with their children, Penelope's cousins. Each one of them had come up with an excuse to decline the invitation, so that left only Penelope and her mother. Penelope could see that her family's absence was taking a toll on her mother, as the normally cheerful woman had become solemn and quiet. With how badly their Thanksgiving plans had gone, Penelope could only dread what Christmas would bring.

As Penelope was getting ready for the day, her phone rang on its charger, lighting up with her best friend's contact picture. When she picked it up, she could tell that Hope was in a similar headspace as her. "Hey, Pen.", Hope spoke, her own voice laced with exhaustion. "Happy Thanksgiving." "Happy Thanksgiving, Hope. How are you holding up?" Hope sighed, shifting the phone to her other hand. "We're going to go visit my mom, and then my aunts are going to take Hannah for the day. I don't want to be there...my dad...he's going at Bex's place. I don't feel like entertaining his guilt." "Where are you going to go?", Penelope asked, putting the phone on the speaker so that she could finish getting dressed. Hope was quiet for a minute. "Do you think your mom will mind if I come over today? I know that it's supposed to be a day for family, but-" "Hope, stop.", Penelope cut her off sternly. "You are family, and you know that you're always welcome here. Besides, it might get my mom out of this mood she's in." Hope paused, more than likely thinking over Penelope's offer. The latter girl decided to give her another small push to encourage her. "You can help me make a pecan pie.", she offered, knowing that it was Hope's favorite part of the holiday. Hope chuckled, and Penelope was relieved that she had managed to at the very least make Hope smile. "Yeah, okay.", she agreed, unable to come up with a reason that she shouldn't take Penelope's offer. "I'll be done at the hospital around noon. See you then?" "See you then.", Penelope confirmed, saying a quick goodbye before hanging up. 

As soon as she had hung up the phone, her mother peeked her head into the room, relieved to see that Penelope was awake. "Who are you talking to so early this morning?", she asked, curiously, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her body. "Hope; She asked if she could come over. I hope you don't mind- I just thought maybe having her here would be good for all three of us." Miranda Park came over to her daughter's side, running her finger's through her hair lovingly. "Of course Hope can come here. Lord knows that poor girl needs as much of a support system as she can get." "Just don't say stuff like that when she's over here- Hope already knows how fucked her family is." Mrs. Park narrowed her eyes at her daughter, and Penelope realized her mistake. "Sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to curse." Mrs. Park shook her head but decided not to scold her daughter too much about it. "Everyone's family is a little broken, Penny", she said with a burdened sigh. "That's why it's important that we keep the ones we love close, and don't take them for granted." Penelope nodded her agreement before standing from the bed. "I still have to get ready, but I'll come down in, like, twenty minutes and I can help you in the kitchen?" Mrs. Park looked at her daughter for a moment - almost as if holding back something she was desperate to say- before offering a small smile. "Yes, I think that'll be just fine, Penny."

________________________________

"I can't believe how much food your mom got.", Hope stated, putting another handful of pecans in her mouth. "You'd think she's feeding an entire army." "Yeah, well, you know my mom- she'd feed the whole damn neighborhood if I let her." Penelope finished pressing the uncooked pie dough into the tray, making sure it was neatly trimmed around the edges. "I think she was hoping my family would come after all. Honestly, I was too." Hope frowned, then combatted her sadness with a declaration. "Fuck family.", Hope exclaimed, slamming her hand down on the counter she was sitting on. "The only family I need is right here." Penelope laughing, amused by her friend's sudden burst of energy. "Correction- fuck fake family members. I mean, Hannah and Freya are pretty cool." Hope rolled her eyes at Penelope's attempt to defend her sister and aunt, but there was still a hint of amusement in her smile. "Okay, sure. Fuck fake family.", she agreed, holding up her cup of soda. "I'll drink to that." Penelope threw a pecan in Hope's direction, giggling when it bounced off her cheek. While Hope was focused on her retaliation for the action, Penelope put the filling into the pie crust and set it in the oven. She had just closed the oven door when the outside doorbell rang unexpectedly.

Penelope glanced over at Hope, mumbling a warning about not eating the rest of their ingredients, before walking up to the front door and opening it enough to see who was waiting on the other side of it. She was surprised to see Josie standing on the doorstep, holding a container in her hands. Penelope opened the door further, stepping out of the warmth of the house and into the cold November air. "Hey Jojo.", she greeted, relieved when Josie didn't flinch at the nickname. Instead, Josie offered a small grin, holding out the container to Penelope, who quickly took it from her hands. "It's a tradition in my family to make homemade pies, and this year it was just me...uh...so, I thought I'd bring one over to you and your mom." "That's really nice of you, Jojo.", Penelope said, causing a proud grin to appear on Josie's face. Penelope realized what she had said, and her excitement to see Josie was replaced with concern for the girl. "What do you mean by it earlier was just you this year? Is your dad and Lizzie not helping you?" Josie's pride turned to a pained expression, and she slowly shook her head no, her focus on the ground below her. "My sister went to visit my mom back in Cali and my dad is working so...", Josie trailed off, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess I'm on my own this year." "Bullshit; You're coming to stay with us. Hope's already here, and my mom is making enough food to feed the whole of Virginia." Josie went to object, but Penelope stopped her. "You don't deserve to be alone on Thanksgiving. Please stay? For me?" For me. Josie realized that Penelope was not pitying her, or inviting her to be nice. She genuinely wanted Josie to stay. How could she say no to that? "Okay. I'll stay for a while." Penelope squealed with excitement before pulling Josie into the house to join her and Hope.

_______________________________

"No way.", Hope argued, pointing her fork at Josie accusingly. "Pecan pie is so much better than Pumpkin, and that's just facts." "Lies!", Josie exclaimed with determination. "Why have the dryness of pecans when you can have the sweetness of pumpkins and nutmeg?" "Well, pecans are always in season, so ha!", Hope reasoned, and Josie just shook her head with amusement. As the two squabbled between themselves, Penelope watched them, realizing that she'd never seen either of the girls as relaxed as they were right now, even in the middle of their debate. Josie was smiling- actually smiling, not the fake one she gave everyone else- and Hope was even warming up to her, despite only meeting Josie two hours ago. When her mother walked by, settling their argument with a simple "Pumpkin pie is better" and a wink in Josie's direction and Hope's expression turned to one of feigned shock causing Josie to giggle- she knew this was what Thanksgiving was all about. Sure, she still missed her dad terribly, and she would continue to miss him until he was back home, where he belonged; Even in the midst of her longing, however, she knew that she was right where she was supposed to be. Surrounded by her mother, and Hope, and Josie, she had never felt more love for something in all of her life than she did for them. She'd never felt more loved in all of her life. Penelope smiled.

It had been a good day after all, and she realized she had so much more to be thankful for than she'd thought.


	11. Bonding

Josie was surprised at how easy it was to be around Penelope and Hope, especially after the holiday was over. Thanksgiving, a day she had been dreading since her family split up, was actually enjoyable while she was around them. Afterward, she had spent more time with the both of them. Penelope had a habit of coming over to Josie's house unannounced, Hope usually standing a few paces behind her. Josie had never liked unexpected guests in the past- even Beck and Tori used to text before they came over- but she liked the casualness that came with Penelope and Hope's unexpected visits. They'd sit in Josie's bedroom together, talking and laughing and teasing each other as if they'd known each other their whole lives. It really felt like they did, at least to Josie. It was nice to be around people that cared about her, who treated her as if she was one of them. She was almost dreading the break to be over because they would no longer get days like this, where they could hang out in Josie's room without interruption. Days where Hope and Penelope were throwing bits of popcorn at each other while Josie giggled at them, peeking over her book at the two of them. Days where Penelope looked over at her with that little glint in her eyes, winking at Josie before throwing another handful of popcorn at a shrieking Hope. She'd be paying for their antics later when she had to pick up the kernels from out of the carpet, but she didn't focus on that. Instead, she reached into the bowl and joined in on Penelope's attack against Hope, laughing.

Later, once the mess had been cleaned up and Penelope and Hope had left, a knock sounded at Josie's bedroom door. The door creaked open, and Alaric's head popped into the room. "Hey, sweetheart. Is it okay if I come in?", he asked politely, and Josie just shrugged in response. Knowing that it was unlikely he would get more of an answer than that, Alaric stepped inside, looking around at the freshly cleaned room. "It's nice to see your floor popcorn free again.", Alaric joked, chuckling to himself. "It seemed like you and those girls had fun today." Josie nodded, unable to hide the growing smile on her face when she thought back on her day with Penelope and Hope. Josie's change in mood did not go unnoticed by Alaric, who sighed to himself in relief that both his daughters were now settling into their new life. "Why don't you invite Hope and Penelope over to the house for a sleepover this weekend?", he suggested with a smile. "Elizabeth will be out with friends, and I'll be at the office late. You'll have the whole house to yourselves." Josie looked up at her father with a doubtful expression, not believing what she was hearing. "You and mom always said that we can't have friends stay overnight unless one of you is home, remember?", she reminded him. Alaric shrugged. "You're not a child anymore, Josette. I trust that you can handle a night by yourself every once and a while.", he explained. "I'm just happy that you have found a piece of happiness here. Hope and Penelope seem like nice girls, and it would be a pleasure to host them overnight." Josie grinned, jumping up to hug her father tightly. Alaric chuckled, returning the embrace until Josie pulled away. "Thank you, Dad.", Josie exclaimed, feeling the excitement building up inside her. "I'll call them right now and ask them." Josie went to do just that, assuming that the conversation was over, but Alaric stopped her. "One more thing, Josie.", he said, opening the bedroom door and stepping outside. Josie watched with curiosity, then confusion and delight when she saw what her father was carrying into the room.

"You found my book?", she asked happily, taking the box from her father and ripping it open. "Mom told me that they were still at the old house. How...?" Alaric sighed a guilty sigh, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah, I asked her to tell a little white lie about that one. I knew if you just buried yourself in here, reading all the time, you'd never give mystic falls a true chance. They've been with me since we moved in." Josie's face fell, her confusion turning to anger. "You hid my books from me? On purpose?" Josie looked from the box of books, then to her father. She was silent for a minute before speaking again. "As much as I want to be angry with you about this, I can't because, I mean, you did it for a good reason. So, as long as you never, ever do it again, I understand why you did it." Alaric, relieved, nodded at his daughter's request. "Never again. You have my word." Alaric cleared his throat, gesturing to the door. "I have a call to make, so I'll leave you to make those phone calls." He stepped over to the threshold, looking back at his daughter one more time before exiting. "Hold onto those girls, Josie. I can tell that they're going to be good for you." With that, he left, leaving behind a curious and happy Josie. While she dialed Penelope's number, she couldn't help but smile at her father's words.

Now that she had Penelope and Hope in her life, how could she ever dream of letting them go?  
___________________________________________

"Okay, yeah, there's no way I'm ever getting to sleep after that movie.", Josie whispered, shuddering next to Penelope under the thin blue blanket on their lap. She glanced over at Hope, who had fallen asleep with her head resting against the bed frame. "I have no idea how hope can." Penelope stretched out, yawning against her hand. "Who knows? Hope can sleep through pretty much anything.", Penelope explained, resting her head against her arm. "She did go to see her mom today. That usually takes a lot out of her, too." Josie frowned; She had heard about Hope's mom in the past, and she knew how badly Hayley's condition was. She also knew how badly it affected Hope. "Was there any progress?", Josie asked, and Penelope solemnly shook her head no. "No brain activity. It's reaching the two-year mark. Hope's aunts said that if Hayley hadn't improved after two years, they were going to take her off support. Hope's been trying to get them to sustain her longer, but.." "but they haven't budged.", Josie finished for her, earning a soft sigh from Penelope. "Hope's family have accepted the fact that Hayley won't come back, but Hope...still has hope. No one really wants to take that from her. I can see how badly it hurts her. I fear the day that they let Hayley go. I don't know if Hope will be able to make it through that. I'm not sure if I can watch her go through that."

Penelope swallowed hard, shaking the thought from her head. "I'm glad you invited us over. I know Hope really needed it. I did, too." Penelope shifted next to her, and Josie could see the blush creeping over her cheeks. "Honestly, I've been looking forward to it all week, since you called. You have this way of making all the stressful shit in my life seem small." Josie smiled, interlacing her fingers with Penelope's. "I'm happy you're here.", she admitted in a voice barely above a whisper. "It's just hard to believe that we went from barely acknowledging each other to you lying next to me in my bed." Penelope chuckled softly, making sure not to wake Hope. "You didn't make it easy, that's for sure. I knew you'd come around eventually, though." Penelope's smile faltered, and Josie could see her visibly tense up. "Will we still be like this once school starts again? Or am I going to have to play the guessing game?" Josie prompted her to elaborate farther, and Penelope did so reluctantly. "These past few days have been...amazing, honestly. I've enjoyed them so much, and I'm just afraid that when the break ends...so will this. I don't want us to go back to being strangers again." "Neither do I.", Josie admitted, surprising herself as well as Penelope. "I can't say that I'm going to be the easiest person to be around, but...I mean, you're the best thing to happen to me in this tiny ass town. I don't want to lose that." Penelope grinned, smugness overtaking her features. "I'm the best thing to happen to you, huh?", she said proudly, causing Josie to hit her with the throw pillow laying against her leg. Penelope laughed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand when Hope stirred at the end of the bed. Both Josie and Penelope looked at each other, fighting laughter.

Once they no longer were in danger of waking Hope, the room fell silent. Josie was almost sure that Penelope was asleep when the older girl surprised her by speaking again. It was barely audible but just loud enough that Josie could make out her voice in the darkened room.

"You're the best thing to happen to me in this town, too, Jojo."


	12. Chapter 12

On May 25, 2020 the nation watched in horror for nearly nine minutes as Officer Derek Chauvin ruthlessly killed George Floyd, a 41 year old black male. Chauvin kneeled on Floyd's neck with steady, heavy pressure as Floyd begged for his life. After nearly ten minutes, he died of asphyxiation. Some of his last words: "I can't breathe." This sparked a national outrage, leading to protests and riots all across the nation to combat a problem that has been plaguing America for way too long: police brutality. These past few days have been difficult. I have heard recounts from my friends after they were teargassed, beaten, and mocked by the police while peacefully protesting in the streets. They were shot at with rubber bullets. They were threatened to be arrested. Still, they fought on, and they are still fighting, because they know that this is a small portion of the violence that black individuals experience daily. If this disturbs you, it's because it should. What started as a movement to give Floyd and his family justice has evolved into the beginning of a new civil rights movement. This is not a "black" issue; It is a human rights issue. It is a war against racism and oppression in today's America. It is an outcry for justice and change. I will be damned if I keep my silence while my fellow brothers and sisters continued to suffer. This is not up for debate, or discussion; black lives matter, and they deserve to be fought for. I urge all of you to educate yourselves and make your voices heard. Amplify the voices of the unheard, and if you can please donate to organizations that support the BLM movement and that pay legal fees for protestors that have been wrongly arrested. Every amount helps. As for me, I will not be updating for the foreseeable future as I am doing everything I can to protect and inform the people around me, and also myself. I wish you all well and urge you to stay safe during this difficult time. ACAB. Black Lives Matter. No Justice, No Peace. - Katt

Here are some resources that you can donate to: 

Black Lives Matter   
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

George Floyd Memorial Fund  
https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

The Loveland Foundation:   
https://thelovelandfoundation.org/

Campaign Zero:  
https://www.joincampaignzero.org/

The NAACP’s Legal Defense and Educational Fund:  
https://org2.salsalabs.com/o/6857/p/salsa/donation/common/public/?donate_page_KEY=15780&_ga=2.231342234.480782673.1591028794-1029022299.1591028794

Community Bail Funds:  
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd

The ACLU:  
https://action.aclu.org/give/fund-every-fight-ahead

Color of Change:   
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/blackpatients?ak_proof=1&akid=42394.5191726.pitPAa&amount=5&rd=1&recurring=1&refcode=stage1_nondonors_link1&refcode2=42394_5191726_pitPAa&t=3


	13. I think I owe you all an apology...

Hi, everyone. It's been a while since we talked. I'm very sorry about that. Once the pandemic hit, a lot of things went on the backburner- my writing included. I've been so majorly stressed out with family, Corona, and then the holidays that I haven't had the mental clarity to write anything. 2020 was rough. I moved out of my mother's house, started a whole new life in a new city, and learned a lot of lessons and met a lot of people along the way. Now i'm ready to say goodbye to 2020 and get back to doing what I love- creating stories to entertain all of you. Please bear with me as I sort myself out and get everything together for the near future. Updates will be slow and infrequent- as they've always been- but I promise to put the very best of myself into every chapter, every paragraph, and every line. I'm glad to be back, and I hope you join me in this new and exciting chapter of my life. 

Love Always, Iries.


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